25 September 2015 | 12:35am
As I''m sitting here, forced to be in the company of my own thoughts (as one would when given so much time on his/her hands), I've come to realize that this semester-long trip is beyond seeking fun adventures to refine my palette. A couple of days before my trip, I met up with my friend, Noreen. She has seen me grow from my prepubescent jr. high days until now (disregarding height...cuz let's be real here :P) She has been my mentor, my friend, my support-system, my shoulder, my counselor, & my sister all-in-one. Up until two days ago, I've never forced myself in a position to acknowledge PURPOSE within this trip. I was so sick of making choices under obligation that I gradually adapted a habit of doing things "just because." I hadn't realized how far in the opposite direction I've gone.
It is with shame that I admit it's been a couple of years since I've allowed myself to go that deep in self-evaluation. Initially, I think a part of me avoided it, because I was on a mission to remold myself and to experience different experiences. Along the way, I've neglected sincere self-reflection, possibly because I was afraid of what that time would reveal. Perhaps, I was procrastinating because I felt I needed to add more adventures & chapters in my 'book.'
BUT, as I find myself somewhere over the Atlantic tonight, I have no excuse and I'm trapped. What is life without purpose? Initially, I embarked on this adventure to seek fun and happiness; to fulfill a life-long dream of mine and to avoid possible regret in the future. Little did I know, this was barely scratching the surface. Nor helped me realize that at the core, I'm hoping to seek joy - not happiness. Happiness is a temporary given; I'M IN EUROPE FOR THE NEXT 3 1/2 MONTHS! Now that i've shifted my gears with a different perspective, I'm finally acknowledging purpose and realizing the importance of purpose.
This isn't just a trip - it's a journey. I really hope that something intangible reveals itself to me on this journey. I hope this intangible discovery & gift in one is something that will help me grow as a woman, and it's something I can whole-heartedly treasure & utilize for the rest of my life. I don't exactly know what I'm hoping for, but something I've learned is that the intangible in this world are the most priceless gifts the universe can give.
"The LORD is my rock and my refuge and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." - Psalm 18:2
Lieben Immer,
N.M. Chow
